Spirit , Soul & Body.....

Hello Beautiful People,

After my last blog post "Hidden Tracks of  Tears" , I decided to share one of my favourite inspirational poems titled: DON'T QUIT, which was written by EDGAR A. GUEST (a poet i respect so much). It inspires me and i can only hope it inspires someone else too.



I'm looking forward to my next post as it would be a compilation of some of the words that were spoken to me by friends, family and even strangers, yes Strangers !!! during difficult times. If its not too much to ask, i would love to hear those words that have kept you going.....But for now , Enjoy this.

"Don't Quit" by Edgar A. Guest 

Love

Kemi Gbadamosi

HIDDEN TRACKS OF TEARS....

He lifted his eyelids , just as the sun rays helped themselves through the grey coloured curtains. He stretched and yawned, then shut his eyes again to say a word of prayer. By the time he was done,  he  stared at the ceiling, it had been a great week of spending time with his high school buddy , "oh! how time has passed" he muttered. He allowed his mind to wander through the years that were now behind and couldn't help but admit that life had dealt fairly with them, despite the ups and downs. It was indeed a beautiful day!

One look at the table clock and Debo was up on his feet. It was 8:00 am Saturday and he had to be out of Bayo's place before traffic built up terribly. He dashed into the bathroom and was out before you could spell his name. In less than 20 minutes, he was dressed and his backpack packed. He took one good look at the room, shut the door behind him and headed for Bayo's room to bid him farewell and probably book another reunion if their busy lives would let them.

As he knocked on Bayo's door, he could hear the sound of the tv, Bayo was up doing his favourite past time, playing video games. They shook hands as Debo took a sit at the edge of the bed, and the two young men began talking about the last one week; laughing heartily at jokes and talking about their next big projects. Just then Debo's phone beeped, he had a message. As he opened the text and began reading, his countenance fell, the knots in his tummy tightened with each sentence, and his hand got weak. He dropped the phone, stood up without a word and headed for the window. He just gazed into space...

Bayo could tell something wasn't right and knowing his best friend too well, he knew he wouldn't get a response ,atleast not yet. So he reached for the phone and saw the text that had made his friend cold in a flash. It was a text from Debo's younger and only sister Kike and it read thus:

  "Dear Brother D,

  I trust you are doing great. Im good and school is going well.

  Please there is something i need to tell you, that has troubled me for years .

 When i was 8, uncle Henry our former neighbour, played with my body and threatened me not to tell anyone. I was also molested by  a group of  girls back in high school, and just when i thought the past was behind, Greg my coursemate that i told you is interested in me, almost forced me against my wish to sleep with him yesterday.  I am tired of all these , i just need to get my mind together and move on but  i know i have to open up first to someone i trust and that someone is you my big  brother.        

Love your baby sis, Kike"

Bayo let out a heavy sigh and walked up to his friend who was still staring out of the window, he grabbed his shoulder and said "you just have to be strong for her and be a pillar of support", to which Debo replied with tears around his eyes "Adebayo, that Kid is only 19, i cant believe this is what she's had to go through, the pain she's carried for years...jeeez" .

Debo picked up his phone and dialled her number: She sounded strong as she answered and told her brother, she felt better after letting it all out. Debo listened as she sniffled and tried to hold back her sobs. "How i wish i can put a bullet through their heads" he muttered, clenching his left fist.He re-assured her that he will be standing there for her and with her through the healing process.

He picked up his backpack , shook Bayo's hand and gave him a one arm hug. He thanked him for everything as they both walked out of the house to where Debo parked his car. He got into his car and drove out of the compound, still visibly pissed. Just few metres away from Bayo's house Debo brought the car to a halt , he reclined his seat and remembered just how he was abused as a kid by a so-called family friend for years. He of all people knew that healing from abuse wasn't that easy, no one can take away the feeling of worthlessness, low self-esteem, anger or pain; no matter what they say.

He knew the only one who could help his baby sister, was the same ONE who helped him get through those years. He closed his eyes and said a prayer for Kike, by reciting a verse his pastor once gave him to encourage and help him  :

                                       
 "But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus,  after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you"  1 Peter 5:10

With that, he got up and drove off, hoping tomorrow would be better; one day at a time.

I dont know what hidden tracks of tears you have carried for years, i pray that you find strength and be encouraged by the verse above.

Love,

Kemi Gbadamosi

WILL OVER VOICES.........

"Turn to the right" , no! "Turn to the left", errrm "Turn to the south, east, north and west!". Thats what you hear everytime. So loud that you cant hear your own voice and sometimes so strong, that you give in without thinking it through. The need to get ahead pretty fast, because it seems to you that your life is in slow motions. So you try to hit the fast forward button, you use all the gimmicks, knowledge , wisdom, and calculated strategies at your disposal to try and figure it all out; hoping you will be able to catch up and perhaps live up to expectations. Yes! the expectations of numerous voices, the expectations of your mind, in your own way, at your own pace and in your own time. Hey! dont get me wrong,  there is nothing wrong with having expectations or making dreams happen, but you seem to have forgotten that there is an author of time who knows where you are headed, better than you will ever know.

Sometimes, it gets crazy and overwhelming, that you are forced to put your hands over your ears real tight and maybe let out a scream or two, just to restore sanity and tranquility to your badgered head/ mind and maybe, still your rankled soul. You stand perplexed, confused and totally disoriented, because everytime you follow these voices or try to chart your own course through the lens of your flesh, Bam! you find yourself  back in the place where you first began (like running a race without a finish line). Looks like someone needs to be reminded that we are first spirits and as such , cannot afford to play by the rules of the flesh (does "walking by faith and not by sight" ring a bell?)hmmm, i hope so . Let me ask you: Aren't you tired of trying to re-weave the threads and alter the patterns of your tunic?, Aren't you tired of trying to re-arrange the notes and keys of the rythm of your song? Well if you are not, guess what! I am!

Didn't you say 10 years ago, errm 2years ago, 2 weeks ago, and just 4 hours ago ...."I SURRENDER TO YOUR WILL" ?. In despair you cry out " Take the Wheel and drive me Lord, anywhere, I promise i will go"! You step back, take a deep breadth, shut your eyes and in sweet surrender , you enjoy the ride, as the gentle breeze caresses your face. Some minutes into the ride you open your eyes suddenly and say ,  " Im loving the drive , you are simply amazing on the wheels, but..... errm aren't we going too slow"?, (no response), "don't you think we should take the right turn instead"? (still no response),  "Oh Lord! be careful not to hit the rail!"....... and before you know it, your hands are back on the wheel again, while you stupidly mumble "I still trust you Lord". Dear Mr/Miss road-navigating-expert, as much as you think you know, get this: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways" (Isaiah 55:8).

I know you are pressured to keep up with the "Brady Bunch" but you need to constantly remind yourself that ".....The race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill;but time and chance happeneth to them all" (Eccl 9:11) or you can find out from Joseph the son of Jacob, i bet that dude knows a thing or two about trying to work it yourself and following the ultimate WILL. Dear buddy , i've learnt that you cant weave or alter the patterns of your tunic better than the master designer, you can't re-arrange the notes and keys of the song better than the master composer and you certainly can't chart the course of your journey better than the one who has the compass, the chief geographer and controller of the tides and waves. "Before i formed thee in the belly i knew thee;and before thou camest forth out of the womb i sanctified thee, and i ordained thee a prophet unto the nations" (Jer 1:5). 


Forget the "Brady Bunch", shut out the voices or better yet drown them out with one of the most poignant bible verse of all time "Trust in the Lord with all your heart;and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct your path" (Prov 3:5-6). You want to know why? i will tell you, THE WILL OF GOD NEVER MAKES SENSE AT FIRST TO THE HUMAN MIND, BUT IN THE END IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!!!!!  So follow his will.

Love

Kemi Gbadamosi.
2012

LIES we BELIEVE and have BECOME.....

For a while now , they had hoped for that perfect day. You know, the one you dreamt about as a child. Where you are swept of your feet by that seemingly perfect prince/princess. Now they think aloud, "maybe those books lied to us", "maybe those movies played with our innocent minds", because its taking so long to find true love , one that would lead to the famous"happily ever after".

They look in the mirror and say "i am smart, intelligent, easy-on-the-eyes, confident, focused , yada yada yada yada and above all , God fearing" (the magic line we always use).  They have stooped from kings/queens to court jesters and jokers without knowing , because the so called lover they found made them feel they needed to change into what would suit the so-called lover best.

They've given everything including their bodies (even when they know the good book says, the bed has to be undefiled, Heb 13:4). They've taken up new characters, thereby losing themselves in the process and console themselves by saying "if it makes him/her happy, then its all good". let me ask? Who do you think you are kidding?  He tells you " give me some time to make some money", "if you didnt live so far away, i swear we would be married". Are you for real? then why doesnt he need more money to sleep with you or why is distance never that far away when he needs you to roll in the hay? Wake up and smell the coffee cause you are fast becoming the lie he speaks.

She tells you " its not like i don't love you enough, im just taking my time",  "you mean the world to me but i just need to be sure" . I ask again , are you for real?  how come she doesn't need more time when she needs you to pick up her bills? and why is she busy rubbing someone else's belly if indeed you mean the world to her?  Don't sweat the silly things, don't hold onto something that never was, no matter how hard it is to let go.

Have you forgotten, he made her from his rib, which means he made her just for him and just like him. A king will take nothing but a queen even with all her flaws. He is a gardner who would tend her to fulfilment and in turn find fulfilment. He/She wouldn't need you to be anybody else, neither would they tell you lies because if they did, they would be hurting themselves.

They would see in you the truth, make you believe the truth and cause you to become the truth which  is, YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!

Let the poem (How Come I'm still Single) by Kim Fields below challenge you not to settle for less and open your eyes to see that you dont need those lies, let alone believe or become them.

Love.

Kemi Gbadamosi

"FINALLY, I GET TO BE A MOTHER.........."

She boarded a KLM  flight, one beautiful monday morning in March 2012, to London. This is not the usual business or leisure trip, it's a trip that is so much deeper and could be described as the most meaningful and fulfilling trip of her entire life. One that she had prayed for, for a very long time..........

*Paula and *Dayo are certainly a match made in heaven, they met in college some 22 years ago and stuck like glue through out college years, before finally taking their relationship to a whole new level as man and wife. The love they share lights up a room and gives broken hearted people hope, that they can still swim in an ocean filled with so much love.

Blessed with mouthwatering jobs, great health, supportive families and friends, above all a faith they both hold so dear. One look at them and you would think they have it all ; no cares, no worries and no pains. Its been about 13 years of  blissful matrimony and the couple have done everything humanly possible, prayed hard and trusted hard, for that which would amplify the volume of joy and love in their home. The pitty patter of a tiny feet, the hearty laughter of innocence and the tiny little hands that stretch out for a lift....yes they have prayed for the gift of a CHILD!!!.

                                                                

Despite pregnancies that ended in dissapointments, fertility treatments that were hurting with no flicker of hope ;they never stopped believing, neither did they give up on their faith. They never felt less loved than those who have this special gift in droves. Their love and faith have been their biggest source of strength, blossoming with every challenge and propelling them to hope against hope. Haven tried all they know how to, they made a decision to give to another, the life they've always dreamt they would give to their biological children.

                                                                      

In patience and faith they went through all the processes, hoping that nothing would go wrong and that fate wouldn't play a fast one on them. Its been almost one long year and its closer than they ever thought. The dream is fast becoming a butterfly-in-the-belly kind of reality and the couple can hardly contain their excitement. He arrives in the first week of April 2012, a 6 month old beautiful, chubby looking bundle of Joy.

Now they would experience the pitty patter of his little feet, his hearty innocent laughter and get to hold his hands every time he stretches it out for a lift. 
Paula is off to London to shop for their adopted son, in preparation for his arrival. In her words she says ....
"I am so excited!!!, i can hardly wait!!!!....God is faithful and Finally , i get to be a mother"

                                                                       
Hope someone finds strength reading this, sometimes the blessings may not come directly to you, but through someone else. Be thankful and never ever give up!!!

*Paula and Dayo (not their real names).

GOLD DIDN'T LOOK THIS GOOD AT FIRST

 They say She's not good enough
cant be my daughter's frend
cant be my sister's frend either,
she is bad influence
moves with the wrong crowd
nothing good can come out of this one
she is too irresponsible to be responsible
looks like thier mind is made " you are just a no good"
Oh my God she is just 12....with a whole life ahead of her
and she does some good things too
but they dont care, they Never cared

looks like they can tell the future better than you
quick to see your mistakes, your flaws, and your hang ups
sentence you to a lifetime of she will never make it
she doesnt do well in class, they say
how can she they ask?
when her mind is messed up with the wrong ideas
i bet you , my daughter or may be my sister is better
she just will never be able to match up
but den again cant they see she is just 12...with a whole life ahead of her
and she does some good things too
but they dont care, they never cared

never bothered to ask
why does she do what she does
why does she talk the way she talks
why does she move with the wrong crowd
maybe she's got a lot on her mind and needs someone to talk to
maybe she is trying to find herself in the midst of all her pain
maybe she is struggling for acceptance and love
maybe things arent as bad as we think they are
maybe theres so much tears, and sadness at home and in her heart
maybe just maybe
but they dont care....they never cared

yea they are so perfect, with perfect childhoods
perfect homes and perfect dreams
so perfect they never had to cry
so perfect they never made a mistake
damn too perfect, dat even perfect knew thier name
but we all know thats a lie....or dont we ?
i guess they never cared .....to even address thier own issues
cos everybody knew they had one.....

fast forward fifteen years
she is all grown , she is all womanly
intelligent, confident, fierce and daring proud black woman
she is beautiful , curvaceous with lovely brown eyes dat screams BRING IT ON
ooooh aaah i hear she's a lawyer now
and i hear she's been on tv
Every man who cant afford her as a wife , wants her as a gurlfrend atleast
bcos she's become every man's dream
Now they say...
she's my daughters friend or my sisters frend..
i knew her from way back...ooops u did?
i thot you said she was a no good?
Honey i know what i said..... but then she was just a kid
you know how kids can be......really?
Now you do care.....

Let's love,
Let's care, Let's help them grow
and show them the way to go
thats the only way to know
what demons they fight with every day
lets learn to look with Gods own eyes
only then ....only then would we truly care
cos honey... GOLD DIDN'T LOOK THIS GOOD AT FIRST!!!!


Kemi Gbadamosi... (for everyone who never felt/feels good enuff)